I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
