i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
