Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
