There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
