I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
