very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
