our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
