Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
