Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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