So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
