I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Randomize
