Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
There r osticjed everywhere
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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