I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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