Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
