Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
