I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
