I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
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