he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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