thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
