Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
