So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
