East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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