She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
