you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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