There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
