I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
