yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
