better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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