whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Randomize
