): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
