Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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