Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
