In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
