this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
