did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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