College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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