Christians are straight up FREAKS
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
