I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
