i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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