i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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