Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
