My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
