we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
