I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
