You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
