I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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