When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
