I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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