I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
