Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize
