Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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