Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
